


Secrets of the Sun

by LilyofAzra



Series: Flowers in the Wind [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:37:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyofAzra/pseuds/LilyofAzra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Come to me, I will tell 'bout the secret of the Sun.' </p>
<p>The cold snap came without warning, without notice.<br/>Darkness had flooded his vision. Dreams blurred between reality and waking.<br/>Where had the Sun gone?</p>
<p>Matthew struggles to come to terms with what happened. </p>
<p>Inspired by the song Aura by Yuki Kajiura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets of the Sun

_If you are near to the dark_

There was just darkness and the terrible cold. It gripped his lungs, like glass shards were piercing his insides instead. But the pain was distant and he was disappearing.

Matthew woke with a cold start grasping for breath. When he looked up, a sky blue gaze meet his.

_I will tell you 'bout the sun_

His breath caught in his throat, until something like a quiver of a sob broke through. But the other remained. If he reached out, he could almost touch him. And he wanted to. So badly.

Instead he ran. The bed sheets fell at his feet as he darted for the door and down the hallway. He crashed into the front door, taking it out with him as he stumbled out of the house. 

Blue eyes meet his again.

_You are here, no escape_

_From my visions of the world_

The world tilted and swirled. His breathing hitched. Darkness flooded his vision.

It was cold.

Ice spiraled up windows and traced the barest blue of kiss among thousands of people. They were all lying there, staring aimlessly into an inky dark night. He stumbled forward, treading carefully over bodies. Scanning the area, he saw him. Under the street lamp, a single body leaned against the post. A blank gaze meet his.

_You will cry all alone_

The tears froze to his cheek. This time he could not turn away. He fell onto broken glass, unable to feel the pain lacing up his knees. He could not change this.

His eyes were vacant. His face so strange, the expression so out of place. Where has he gone? Leaving the body behind.

No wonder the world was so dark. The sun was gone.

_Please_ , he shook the body,  _please come back._

Nothing. Just an empty stare.

_But it does not mean a thing to me_

* * *

 An eagle called in the distance. Matthew opened his eyes to another grey day. Nanuq was curled into his side, almost seamlessly blending in with the snow.

His face was wet with tears.

He didn't know how long it took for him to get up. His pajamas were soaked through with cold and snow. But he treaded back through the broken door, barely even acknowledging it.

He should get warm. He should eat something. He should...

But his thoughts trailed off, the rest of him on autodrive. Taking him to the bathroom, with a certain mechanism, he turned the shower on and step into the gushing steam. Pinpricks set every nerve ending aflame.

_Matt_.

There was no one. He was alone. No one else. But for the calling of his name and the memory of a familiar gaze.

What was happening? Despite the heat from the water, he couldn't feel it anymore. His thoughts drifted to the dream. Or was it more of a vision? All those people, watching the sky. Never to get up again. 

There was only one that he wanted to. Only one smile he wanted to see, to hold.

The shower had turn cold. He couldn't abide the cold any more. Tossing a sweater and some sweat pants on, he ambled to the kitchen bracing against the chill that swirled in with the wind.

_Come to me, I will tell_

But he couldn't. He had been unable to leave then, knowing he wouldn't make it in time. His feet were glued in as a blizzard stormed around him.

He  _knew_.

How could he? How could he have stayed? How could he call himself a brother? When he remained? When he hadn't left? His brother-his  _twin_ \- needed him. And he wasn't _there_!

Matt fell to the floor unwilling to move. It was his fault. He should have been able to do something. He knew that horrible cold. The image of his twin, frozen beneath a broken street lamp, clouded his mind. It was his  _fault_.

Why was he the one that lived?

_Matt_...

The wind swirled around him, caring the barest hint of warmth. Blue eyes reflected in the darkness of his mind.

_Come to me, I will tell_

_'bout the secret of the sun_

The words haunted his mind as coldness seeped into his bones. Nanuq was nudging at his side again. Shoving him towards the kitchen. The bear had opened the fridge and manage to balance one of the Tupperware containers someone had left for him. Nanuq wouldn't move until Matt had taken the food.

He didn't bother to warm it up. Instead, he ate bit by bit, unable to taste anything. He should go somewhere. There was something important. The distant echo in his mind. What had happen to his sun?

The darkness was slowly lifting, almost as if it too, was tired.

He rose. His meal barely eaten, but his feet carried him with the sense of need. Something, someone was calling out to him. Forcing their way through the fog.

_Alfred_. The thought crept into his mind. All the distant whispers he had been hearing. His twin was calling for him.

He packed his bag. The intrinsic feeling of knowing soothed his nerves. Maybe... Just maybe... Alfred _wasn't_ gone. Hope flickered, sparking the strength to move.

What was it the wind had whispered?

The secret of the sun?

And stars could be reborn from their ashes.

The days passed as he tromped through the snow. Driven for the first time in days.

Nanuq kept up with wary glances. Following because there was nothing else he could do. Matthew was moving on his own.

* * *

It was on the fifth day that he found it. An ice cavern was embedded half way in a glacier. The wind had picked up and he could hear it sing through the maze of tunnel ahead. He followed the wind. One gloved hand against the wall.

The center was a site, great columns of ice held the frozen rough above him. The wind spun around him. And for the first time, sun light was filtering down. The whole place shimmer. In the middle, he saw him.

Sky blue eyes met his. There was light there too.

"Alfred!" Matt threw down his bundled and raced to his brother, arms wide open.

He fell through him.

"No!" Matt hit the floor unable to met the concern gaze. "You said the secret of the sun? Why aren't you reborn?"

"Matt." A hand rested above his shoulder, not quite touching. It shimmered like the rest of the cave. "I just reflect the light. No wonder I had shine so bright."

There was that familiar grin on his face. Matt wanted to hit him.

"You can't be dead and make jokes." He couldn't find the will to stand up again. "And what does that even mean?"

_It's in you, not in me_

The thought was whispered between them.

"No." Matt shook his head. "No. What good does that do?"  _Without you._  It wasn't fair. He had come all this way, hoping so blindly.

"Al. How could I be the sun? Not when everything is so..." But the threat of tears cut off his words.

"Didn't you know? You are my sun." The words were barely a whisper. He watched as Matthew became lost once more in his grief.  _But it does not mean a thing to you._

Kneeling to his level, Alfred moved to wipe a way the tears, singing softly.

_The sun is in your eyes_

He tucked a strand behind his twin's ear. The touch was no more than a wisp of wind.

_The sun is in your ears_

"Al." Matt held his hand perfectly above his brother's, but he couldn't grasp the wind.

"It'll be alright Matt." Alfred kissed his brow before the wind sung through the caverns.

When he looked up again, Alfred was gone. Only cold sunlight reflected through the ice.

_I hope you see the sun_

_Someday in the darkness_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please Review/Comment. Let me know what you think.  
> I also posted this on FF.net.


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